Friday, November 14, 2008

Entry #4: God Raised Her Up!

Never Give Up

by Meaghan Harrison

It all started in the Spring of 2008. At 12 years of age, a life or death situation occurred and today I’m extremely thankful that I had God.

It was the end of spring break and I did not want to go back to school. I was standing in the laundry room with my mom. I was crying and I began to get mad. My fists were clenched and I was trembling. My mom said to me, “I would hope that you would never hate school so much that you would hurt yourself.” I responded saying, “Suicide is the cowards way out.”

The words came out of my mouth like butter, but in my head the meaning was soon doubted. Just to think that my own mother would worry about me hurting myself frightened me.

It took me months to get out of this depression. On weekdays I would go to school, come home, do my homework go to bed. Notice I didn’t say “eat dinner”. That’s because it would be served to me but I would only eat a few bites then push it away. Every time I took a bite I would think to myself, “I don’t deserve this.” On weekends I wouldn’t move a muscle. I would watch Hairspray over and over again until I fell asleep. I would only get up off of the couch if I absolutely had to.

I hated this time. I was so frightened by myself that I wouldn’t move. I cried for hours at a time especially at school because I couldn’t see my parents. My mom and dad are divorced so that only made it worse.

I realized that I couldn’t live this way. I started to go to all Christian meetings (what we call church) and gatherings with fellow Christians. I drew much closer to God. For the first time in my life I chose to serve God, I wasn’t told to, I chose. After 4-5 months my depression had wonderfully subsided.

Today I wonder why I got so worked up about going to school because I know that school is good for me and I like it. I’m learning for my future. I may have hated that time, but I’m actually glad that it happened because now I have a story to tell and I am 10 times closer to God than I was before this experience. I’m Meaghan Harrison and this is my story.

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