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In this column, freelance author, editor, and speaker Kathy Ide shares tips on self-editing your manuscript.
~ CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS ~
As each character enters a scene, provide a brief description of that character’s physical appearance. As with setting descriptions, keep these brief and somehow related to the action and always in the point-of-view character’s perspective. What does the heroine notice about the hero when she sees him for the first time? What does she notice about him after she’s spent a few weeks getting to know him? Don’t just tell the reader what he looks like. Show him doing something. And reveal how his appearance affects her.
For example, rather than writing, “John was tall, with black hair and brown eyes, and he wore a hat,” try something like this: “John ducked slightly as he entered the room. When he saw Mary standing in the corner, he removed his Seattle Mariners cap, revealing a mop of thick black hair that stuck out in every direction. His dark eyes darted back and forth as if he expected a wildcat to lunge at him. Mary stared at the thick fingers of his left hand as they squeezed the cap. He wasn’t wearing a ring.” Here you’ve shown that John is tall, with black hair and brown eyes. But you’ve shown the details within the action of the story rather than simply telling the reader the facts.
Vary your descriptions. Don’t show each character’s clothing every time he or she enters a scene . . . unless your main character is a fashion designer or has some other reason for noticing people’s clothes.
Showing the appearance of your point-of-view character can be tricky. Since she can’t see herself, it’s more difficult to show what she looks like. Using a mirror sometimes works, but this method can appear contrived, especially if she doesn’t have a good reason to be looking in a mirror and if you don’t show what she thinks about her appearance.
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NOTE: It is an infringement of copyright law to reproduce this publication, in part or in whole, without the express permission of the author. To request permission, please e-mail Kathy@KathyIde.com.
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AUTHOR BIO:
Kathy Ide has been writing for publication since 1988. She has written books, articles, play and movie scripts, short stories, devotionals, and curriculum. She is a full-time freelance editor, offering a full range of editorial services for aspiring writers, established authors, commercial book publishers, subsidy publishers, and magazines. Her services include proofreading, copyediting, substantive/content editing, coauthoring, ghostwriting, and mentoring/coaching. She also speaks at writers’ conferences across the country. She is the founder and coordinator of The Christian PEN: Proofreaders and Editors Network (www.TheChristianPEN.com) and the Christian Editor Network (www.ChristianEditor.com). To find out more, please visit www.KathyIde.com.
When the weatherman announced on yesterday's news that it was the first day of autumn, I, along with probably many other Floridians, said, "What autumn?" Here in Central Florida, our autumn comes during the winter months of December and January, so autumn is a long way off at this point. That's not to say we don't have cooler weather in October and November, but cool air lasts a day or so and then the sun is back and the heat.
I love the sun. The sun creates things; it stirs things. It warms the life of dragonflies and the blood of lizards. It opens the petals of flowers. It puts my dog to sleep in a puddle of light. The sun brings growth and movement and activity in the garden. It brings brilliant colors to the morning and evening sky, lighting up the clouds in fantastic splendor. It also creates shade and shadows, cool spots to rest.
Embrace The Sun, Swordtail Fern
The change of seasons is based on the path of the sun, its height in the sky and its movement across the earth. Long summer afternoons contrast themselves with longer winter nights. I rise in the mornings now and have to wait almost and hour for the sun to make its initial appearance. Cold fog creeps across the ground, swallowing up all things in its path.
But the sun always rises and clears away the sleep of night. The sky, flush with its sparkle, is the first to embrace it, and then the ground, and the leaves. The night creatures begin to fold in, to again await the darkness, and the day creatures stir and stretch and rise.
Good Morning Sunrise
I love the sun. I love it for what its coming does each day and for what its leaving does each night. It authors. It emphasizes. It germinates.
Reviewed by Phee Paradise An Eye for an Eye by Irene Hannon
With a sniper shooting in the first chapter, An Eye for an Eye starts with a promise of action. But it quickly bogs down in the relationship of the two main characters. Their instant rapport based on a twenty year old romance, and their memories of that time, are interspersed with the search for the would-be killer. They each rehash their feelings for each other and their fears about rekindling their love, while FBI agents look for clues. I’m not a big fan of flashbacks, but I found myself wishing Hannon had used one or two to catch us up and move on to the story at hand.
The characters are compelling and you have to like them. But as the tough FBI agent shows his softer side, he also reveals that he has wandered far from his childhood faith. His love interest, who is a committed Christian, is concerned about his soul, but doesn’t worry about her own relationship with an unbeliever. She sees a wonderful man and is pleased that her faith opens his heart to begin seeking the Lord again. But his return to faith is not explicit and I wanted to have a motherly chat with her about the problems I’ve seen in marriages between believers and unbelievers.
But there is a killer to catch, and as the romance progresses, so does the investigation. The FBI and police actions ring true, including some tedious detective work, as they follow a limited number of clues. The strength of the book lies in the brief glimpses we are given of the shooter. As the investigation progresses so does our knowledge about him and his motives. In the end I found myself hoping he would get some help; mercy as well as justice.
It’s a good crime story, but prepare yourself for lots of romantic scenes and a lot of introspection by the main characters.
Pros: Well plotted crime investigation with just enough clues to keep you going. A very good depiction of the perpetrator.
Cons: Repetitive descriptions of the characters’ feelings.
Available September 2009 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.
The word journal comes from the same root as the words journey and day. A journal is a day to day record of the journey of life. Keeping a journal can be extremely meaningful and a wonderful way to unwind and analyze feelings.
Record Thoughts and Memories Write down special happenings and events that impact your life. This may be for your own personal enjoyment or as a record for future generations. Never underestimate how important these words could be for your children and grandchildren. If writing from a historical point of view, mention significant medical advances or incidents that may interest family in years to come.
Times of Solitude for your Soul Journaling is generally a private affair. It forces you to take time out and find a secluded spot to pour your feelings onto paper. It’s a time to relax and think; a time to examine heart issues and write about them.
Journaling is a Form of Creativity Because journals are mostly for personal enjoyment, it is easy to write freely without worrying about polishing words and perfecting punctuation. It’s a place to experiment, to write snatches of creativity and phrases that appeal. If you want to fill a page with words describing cookies or a stormy lake, that’s absolutely acceptable.
Writing can aid Inner Healing A journal is a place to explore emotional pain and write things that can’t or shouldn’t be expressed verbally. Writing things out is often cathartic and brings clarity and healing. I love this quote from Shakespeare’s Othello: What wound did ever heal but by degrees? Journaling can be part of that healing process.
Connecting with God Journaling can link well with devotional times. Reading the Bible and recording thoughts and revelations in a journal can reinforce what God is saying to you. It can also be a means of expressing deep feelings to God; feelings you may have difficulty verbalizing can be written down.
Many people journal every day as part of their routine. Others journal erratically as inspiration strikes or something significant happens that they want to record. Whichever way you journal, it can result in great growth and personal satisfaction.
Reviewed by Phee Paradise One Imperfect Christmas by Myra Johnson
Sometimes when one is burdened by overwhelming guilt, it turns inward, making the person incredibly self-occupied. Natalie, in One Imperfect Christmas, lets this happen to her. When her mother has a stroke, she blames herself. Her guilt and anger overwhelm everything else in her life and she can only think about how she feels. She refuses to accept understanding and compassion from the people who love her, claiming that no one understands her feelings. She pushes away the people who love her most and jeopardizes her marriage and her daughter’s security. She can’t see how she’s hurting them.
The book is one long cry of pain, but it isn’t maudlin, and the road Natalie, Daniel and their daughter, Lissa, travel is a logical one. Genuine emotions take the characters from one bad decision to another, making their estrangement understandable. Natalie and Daniel don’t see how they can ever undo all the hurt they have caused each other, but the reader hopes they will find a way.
Hope lies in the Christmas theme, which Johnson skillfully uses to tie different facets of the story together. Natalie and Lissa beg God for a Christmas miracle, and He surprises them with His love. I hope you’ll read the book to see how His healing is greater than our hurting.
Pros: Strong characters and emotions that move the story forward with a hopeful ending.
Cons: Some of the life transitions are abrupt, leaving the reader wondering how the characters got there.
Making up stories has been second nature to me for as long as I can remember. A select group of trusted friends back at dear old Mission High waited eagerly for the next installment of my "Great American Spy Novel" (think Man from Uncle) and my "All-American Teen Novel" (remember Gidget and Tammy?). I even had a private notebook of angst-ridden poetry a la Rod McKuen.
The dream of writing persisted into adulthood, although it often remained on the back burner while I attended to home and family and several "real" (read paying) jobs along the way. Then in 1983, while recovering from sinus surgery, I came upon one of those magazine ads for the Institute of Children’s Literature. I knew it was time to get serious, and the next thing I knew, I'd enrolled in the “Writing for Children and Teenagers” course.
Within a year or so I sold my first story, which appeared in the Christian publication Alive! for Young Teens. For many years I enjoyed success writing stories and articles for middle-graders and young adults. I even taught for ICL for 9 years.
Then my girls grew up, and there went my live-in inspiration. Time to switch gears. I began my first women's fiction manuscript and started attending Christian writers conferences. Eventually I learned about American Christian Romance Writers (which later became American Christian Fiction Writers) and couldn't wait to get involved. Friends in ACFW led me to RWA and the online inspirational chapter, Faith, Hope & Love.
So here I am today, still on this crazy roller-coaster ride. Still writing. Still hopeful. Writing, I'm learning, is not about the destination, it's about the journey. My current projects are primarily women's fiction and romance . . . novels of hope, love, and encouragement. Novels about real women living out their faith and finding love in the midst of everyday, and sometimes not so everyday, situations.
ABOUT THE BOOK
Graphic designer Natalie Pearce faces the most difficult Christmas of her life. For almost a year, her mother has lain in a nursing home, the victim of a massive stroke, and Natalie blames herself for not being there when it happened. Worse, she's allowed the monstrous load of guilt to drive a wedge between her and everyone she loves-most of all her husband Daniel. Her marriage is on the verge of dissolving, her prayer life is suffering, and she's one Christmas away from hitting rock bottom.
Junior-high basketball coach Daniel Pearce is at his wit's end. Nothing he's done has been able to break through the wall Natalie has erected between them. And their daughter Lissa's adolescent rebellion isn't helping matters. As Daniel's hope reaches its lowest ebb, he wonders if this Christmas will spell the end of his marriage and the loss of everything he holds dear.
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