Editing Tip # 11: Dangling Modifiers

Kathy Ide’s Editing Tips

^© Kathy Ide, 2009

In this column, freelance author, editor, and speaker Kathy Ide shares tips on self-editing your manuscript.

~ DANGLING MODIFIERS ~

When you start a sentence with a modifying word or phrase, the next thing in the sentence is what must be modified by that word or phrase. A "dangling modifier" is a phrase that does not clearly and sensibly modify the appropriate word.

EXAMPLE: "Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, the Mustang seemed to run better."

The subject of this sentence is "the Mustang." The modifying phrase is "Changing the oil . . ."

A Mustang cannot change its own oil. So you'd want to rewrite that as something like:

"Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, Sandra found she got much better gas mileage."

"Walking to work, the eucalyptus trees reminded Lynette of Brandilyn Collins's latest novel."

The subject of this sentence is "the eucalyptus trees." The modifier is "Walking to work . . ."

Eucalyptus trees don't walk to work . . . not even in Brandilyn's novels. So rewrite:

"As Lynette walked to work, the eucalyptus trees reminded her of Eyes of Elisha."

"Slamming on the brakes, the car swerved off the road."

Unless you're Stephen King, the car probably didn't slam on its own brakes. So:

"Robin slammed on the brakes, and the car swerved off the road." Or:

"When Robin slammed on the brakes, the car swerved off the road."

"Six months after attending the writers conference, Gail's article was accepted by a publisher."

The subject of this sentence is "Gail's article."

"Gail's article" did not attend the writers conference. So you'd want to rewrite to something like:

"Six months after Gail attended Mount Hermon, her article was accepted by a publisher."

SIMULTANEOUS ACTIONS

Be sure the action in the modifying phrase can be accomplished at the same time as the action in the rest of the sentence.

EXAMPLE: "Hugging the postman, Delilah ripped open the box containing her new novel."

Delilah cannot simultaneously hug the postman and rip open a box. Reword to something like:

"After hugging the postman, Delilah ripped open the box containing her new novel."

MISPLACED MODIFIERS

The position of a modifier determines what thing or action is being modified.

EXAMPLE: "Sharon sent out a proposal for her book on living with horses last week."

Sharon's proposal wasn't for a book about "living with horses last week." Reword:

"Last week Sharon sent out a proposal for her book on living with horses."

"The editor told me on Thursday I have a book signing."

Did the editor say this on Thursday, or do you have a book signing on Thursday?

"On Thursday, the editor told me I have a book signing." Or:

"The editor told me I have a book signing on Thursday."

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NOTE: It is an infringement of copyright law to reproduce this

publication, in part or in whole, without the express permission

of the author.

To request permission, please e-mail Kathy@KathyIde.com.

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AUTHOR BIO:

Kathy Ide has been writing for publication since 1988. She has written books, articles, play and movie scripts, short stories, devotionals, and curriculum. She is a full-time freelance editor, offering a full range of editorial services for aspiring writers, established authors, commercial book publishers, subsidy publishers, and magazines. Her services include proofreading, copyediting, substantive/content editing, coauthoring, ghostwriting, and mentoring/coaching. She also speaks at writers’ conferences across the country. She is the founder and coordinator of The Christian PEN: Proofreaders and Editors Network (http://www.thechristianpen.com/) and the Christian Editor Network (http://www.christianeditor.com/). To find out more, please visit http://www.kathyide.com/.

Help! I'm a beginner!

BY SUZANNE WILLIAMS

There are three basic elements of photography that, regardless of what type of camera is used, all photographers should understand in order to produce better photographs.

ISO
Aperture
Shutter Speed

These three factors are interrelated. Changing one will cause changes in the others.

ISO

ISO is how sensitive your camera is to the light. It is expressed in numbers like 50, 100, 200, and so on. The higher the number the more sensitive your camera is.

Think of yourself standing in a bright room when suddenly all the lights are extinguished at once. For the first few seconds you are unable to see anything. The room appears to be totally black. But what happens the longer you stand there? Your eyes begin to adjust. They become more sensitive to the lower level of light, and you realize you can see objects now that seemingly weren't there before.

But there is a catch to using higher ISOs. Higher ISOs let in more light, thus enabling you to take a clearer photo in a lower amount of light, but they will give the photo more "noise". Noise appears in an image as fine grains and can make the photo appear too soft. The key to choosing the right ISO is to use as little as needed. I always set my camera on the lowest ISO unless I am taking a specific photo where I find I need more light, for example, in deep shade or indoors where I don't want to use a flash.

Golden Autumn Leaves, Cherokee Lake
F4.3, 1/50, ISO 50

Aperture

Think again of our example of the bright room that suddenly goes dark. What causes your eyes to adjust to the lower levels of light? Your pupils dilate, or grow larger, in size. Aperture works in this same manner. Aperture opens your lens wider to allow in more light in a shorter period of time.

Aperture is expressed in numbers called f-stops. But don't let the terminology throw you a curve ball. Each f-stop is accompanied by a digital number, commonly expressed as F2.8, F5.0, F8.0, F16, etc. Each f-stop number indicates a different size "pupil", so to speak. The smaller the number (F2.8), the larger the opening in your lens, and the more light let in at once. In reverse, the larger the number (F16) the smaller the opening, and the less light allowed through the lens. It takes longer using a small aperture for the camera to receive the same amount of light as a large aperture.

So, you ask, what's the difference? Aperture affects something called "depth of field". Again, don't let the terminology bother you. Depth of field is just that, the amount of depth in the photograph that remains in focus. The larger the aperture, the less depth of field you will have. Typically, you will want to use a larger aperture, thus having less depth of field, in photos like close-ups (also called macro photography), or portraits, where you want to isolate your subject. A smaller aperture and more depth of field is more desirable in landscape images, so that more areas in the photo are in focus.

Wild Water, Ocoee River, Tennessee
F5.7, 1/512, ISO 125

Shutter Speed

Shutter speed is how quick the lens closes to take the photograph. It is expressed in fractions of time: 1/2 second, 1/16 second, 1/100 second, and so on. For this example, think of a pie. Would you rather have 1/2 the pie or 1/100 of the pie? One-half is a larger slice of the pie. In this same manner, 1/2 second is longer than 1/100.

Faster shutter speeds are typically used for moving objects, like sporting events or animals. Longer shutter speeds, as we discussed last week, work great for low light images and moving water. The longer the shutter speed the more you will need a fixed support for your camera to sit on. This is because humans are never actually still. More photographs are lost by the everyday photographer when someone thought they could hold the camera still enough in too low of light.

Cullasaja Falls

F11, 1/3, ISO 125

How do these three factors work together?

You may not have realized it, but you have been using these all along. It's just that with any camera's "automatic" settings, the camera chooses them for you. To use a faster shutter speed in an area of lower light, you will need more ISO. With a smaller aperture, you will have a longer shutter speed.

One great way to learn the relationship between them is to set your camera on automatic and then take a series of photos in different lighting situations. Try for a fast moving object in low light and again in bright light. Afterward, compare the settings your camera chose on its own. Then return to the same object and take another series of photos. Use the original settings that the camera chose on automatic and then make some adjustments. Increase your ISO, slow your shutter speed, alter your aperture and compare your results.

If you will pay a lot of attention to your camera settings at first, you will eventually find you can make decisions on what will work best without giving it much thought. It can seem tedious in the beginning, but with constant observation of what your camera is doing, you will begin to see better results. It will take the guesswork our of your images and give you more control over the results you are trying to achieve.

Milkweed Seeds
F3.5, 1/80, ISO 50

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Suzanne Williams Photography
To Read More Of My Words
Florida, USA

Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.

Justice or Mercy?

Reviewed by Phee Paradise

The Call of Zulina by Kaye Marshall Strom

I like happy stories and I especially don’t like to read about cruelty, so when I realized The Call of Zulina is about the African slave trade, I was apprehensive. But Strom tells a strong story without unnecessary descriptions of brutality. The main character is the daughter of a slave trader and an African princess and it’s hard to know which of them is more evil. In spite of this, their daughter, Grace, learns compassion for the slaves and makes choices that puts her in the middle of their struggle.

The story is told with a rhythm that I assume is African. The phrasing and some of the language is a little different from normal English storytelling, which helps create a sense of the African setting. The plot moves forward quickly, with enough twists to keep the reader wondering what will happen next. My one complaint is that descriptions of places are weak and I couldn’t easily picture them or the character’s position within them. This confusion made me pause in the middle of some exciting scenes.

As the book moves to a climax, the issue of justice versus mercy arises. Grace must choose one or the other and strong arguments are made for each. It’s not an easy decision and I’m not sure there was a right answer for her. But she makes her decision and there’s a sweet ending as she finds her place in a world that has changed.

Pros: Nice handling of a difficult subject. Strong characters faced with complex decisions. A story that moves along and keeps the reader engaged.

Cons: Some spatial confusion, but this is minor.

You’ll like this book if you are looking for a slightly different voice.

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Call Of Zulina
Abingdon Press (August 2009)
by
Kay Marshall Strom


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:


Of Kay Marshall Strom’s 34 published books, four have been book club selections, nine have been translated into foreign languages, and one has been optioned for a movie.

Her writing credits also include numerous magazine articles, short stories, two prize-winning screenplays, books and stories for children, and booklets for writers. Her writing has appeared in several volumes, including More Than Conquerors, Amazing Love, The NIV Couple's Devotional Bible and The NIV Women's Devotional Bible, and The Bible for Today's Christian Woman.

Her work also is included in a number of compilations, including various books from the Stories for the Heart series. Her best-known book is Once Blind: The Life of John Newton, which is packaged with the recently released DVD Amazing Grace. She also has written several books with her husband, Dan Kline. Kay is a partner in Kline, Strom International, Inc., leaders in communication training. She currently lives in Eugene, Oregon.

As an activist against modern slavery, Kay Strom takes an indirect approach to calling attention to that issue with her newest fiction title, the first of three planned in the Grace in Africa series, set in West Africa in 1787.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Grace Winslow, the daughter of a mixed marriage between an English sea captain and an African princess, is swept up in a slave revolt after she escapes the family compound to avoid an odious betrothal.

As the truth about the fortress of Zulina unfolds, Grace begins to grasp the brutality and ferocity of the family─the capture and trade of slaves.

Despite being held for ransom, viciously maimed by a runaway slave, and threatened with death, Grace sympathizes with the plight of the captives. She is especially moved by the African Cabeto’s passion, determination, and willingness to sacrifice anything, including his own life, for his people’s freedom. Leaning on the faith of her nanny Mama Muco, Grace risks everything to follow her heart.

To read the first chapter of Call Of Zulina, click HERE

Choosing Names in Fiction

Using Names Wisely
By Debbie Roome

Names are important to God. In Isaiah 43:1 (Amplified Bible) He says, I have called you by your name; you are mine. Imagine that – God calling us by name. What an incredible thought. What amazing intimacy to have our Creator call us by name.

Names also mean a lot to people and we use them to communicate. Sometimes we whisper them, sometimes we shout them, sometimes we change them into nicknames that crush or amuse. Names are vitally important in real life so it makes sense that they are important in fiction too.

Choosing the Right Name
Name choices in fiction should be suitable for the character in question. The sounds, connotations and origins of names all send a subtle message to the reader

Where to Find Names
Useful resources are books of names for babies, telephone directories and the internet. Write a list of names and surnames that catch your attention and then experiment by putting them in different combinations.

Age-Appropriate Names
Many names fit into a certain age group. For example Mildred, Ethel and Pamela are not in common use today but were popular 60 years ago. Make sure that the name fits with the age of the character.

Name Associations
Be careful of names that have strong associations with celebrities or famous people. For example, a hero named Adolf or OJ would probably not work. Likewise, an innocent young girl called Madonna would also be a questionable choice.

Characterization through Names
Certain names have stereotypical connotations. Think of a girl-next-door character. Names such as Sally, Jane or Susan fit her image. A sultry seductress will have a more exotic name such as Burgundy or Bianca. A strong male character will normally have a strong name like Blake or Chad.

Foreign Names
If the story includes a foreign character, be sure to research their name properly. For example, if writing about a woman from India, determine whether her name should be Muslim or Hindu. If possible, check with someone who is familiar with the culture in question.

Don’t use Similar Names
When writing fiction, make sure that the names sound different and start with a different letter. Stories that include Janice, Jane and Jenny or Nick, Mike and Mark will be very confusing to the reader.

Watch out for Initials
If a character’s full name is given, be careful that the initials don’t spell something that will detract from the story. If a judge is called Garth Andrew Sutton, his initials will be GAS. This can add subtle comedy in certain genres but make sure it is appropriate.

First Names and Surnames
Main characters normally are given a first name and surname. Minor characters usually get by with just a first name.

Nicknames Reveal Character
This is true in life and true in fiction. A nickname can add strong characterization and add interest to a story. Think of titles such as Pickle, Stumpy, Flea and Runner.

Names are an important part of fiction writing and with careful consideration and research, can strengthen characterization and reveal background. It is worth spending time on choosing the best names possible.

Debbie Roome works as a freelance writer from her home in New Zealand. Visit her at Debbie Roome or read some of her work at Suite 101 , Take Root and Write and Faithwriters.

So You Want to Be a Work-at-Home Mom?

Our friends at Christian Work at Home Moms are celebrating the release of their latest book, and we'd like to help spread the word. I'm an entrepreneur myself, so I love this wonderful resource!

Home-based businesses are estimated to be a $427 billion-a-year industry. In recent studies it was found that as many as 105 million people in North America alone were working at home. Considering this information, it is obvious that home-based businesses can be successful and authors Jill Hart and Diana Ennen will help you succeed with your own. So You Want to Be a Work-at-Home Mom details all the basics of starting a business in a spiritual, motivational, and comprehensive manner. From deciding what type of business to start to keeping your family and faith first, this helpful tool details every aspect of establishing a business. With proven success tips utilized by the authors and others who own work-at-home businesses, this inspiration approach will provide you with the resources you need to start your own home-based business. So You Want to Be a Work-at-Home Mom includes: * Detailed information on types of businesses to start * Ideas and assistance for setting up, operating, and marketing your business * Definitions and descriptions of work-at-home terminology and processes * Help for developing your Website * Explanations of the business nuts and bolts, including bookkeeping, taxes, and more About the Authors JILL HART is the founder of Christian Work at Home Moms, CWAHM.com. Jill is a co-author of So You Want To Be a Work-at-Home Mom. Jill has published many articles and is a contributing author in Laundry Tales, The Business Mom Guide Book, I'll Be Home for Christmas, and Faith Deployed. She holds a bachelor's degree in human development and family studies. Learn more about working from home at http://www.cwahm.com/work-at-home/ . DIANA ENNEN has been a leader and mentor in the work-at-home industry since starting her business, Virtual Word Publishing, in 1985. She is the author of many books, including Virtual Assistant the Series; Become a Highly Successful, Sought After VA and Words from Home: Start, Run, and Profit from a Home-Based Word Processing Business. She resides in Margate, Florida, with her husband and their three children. Below is an interview with the authors of So You Want To Be a Work-at-Home Mom – Jill & Diana. If you have questions they are happy to answer your questions anytime. Leave a comment below or email Jill@cwahm.com or Diana@virtualwordpublishing.com How long have you been working at home? Jill Hart - I've been working at home since 2000. I had to go back to work full-time for a brief period in 2003 when my husband got out of the Air Force. At that point I got even more serious about making my business work and I've been home full-time since then. Diana Ennen – I’ve been working at home since 1985, when my son was born. He’s now graduated college and already working towards his own career. I absolutely love it. I can’t imagine doing anything else. What types of businesses do you operate? Jill Hart – I run Christian Work at Home Moms, CWAHM.com, a website full of free resources, job listings and information about home businesses. I also write articles and books (yes, more books to come!) and am a blogger for sites like Time/Warner's Christian Momlogic.com and a member of the Guideposts blogger team. Diana Ennen– I’m the President of Virtual Word Publishing. I’m a virtual assistant and specialize in marketing & publicity. I’ve also written numerous books on how to start a VA business and offer PR and VA Coaching. Tell us about your book? How do you think it can benefit those who want to start a business? Jill Hart - The book has been such a "God thing." He orchestrated the entire sequence of events - from putting Diana and I together as co-authors to bringing us to the right publisher. The book is a hands-on practical guide for anyone who wants to build a business from home. We cover topics ranging from how to select the right type of business for you, to how to get started, to how to market and grow your business. Diana Ennen - I think one of the best features of our book is that it’s not only informative, but motivational as well. You’ll feel like friends are helping you on your journey to success. Also, we discuss numerous types of businesses to start and provide proven methods to achieve success. We also often hear how starting a business can be so overwhelming. That’s why we pay special attention to all the how tos. We feel very confident our book will help, not only those starting a business, but those already in business wanting to expand it. What types of businesses are featured in your book? Jill Hart - We have such a great range of contributors - everything from direct sales companies like Southern Living at Home and Avon to unique product-driven businesses like BSM Media and GrillCharms. These woman are amazing and give readers a great insight into how they've grown their businesses in very different ways. Diana Ennen - We cover everything from direct sales companies to specialized areas such as medical transcription and virtual assisting. Also, Jill shares detailed information on starting a community based membership site. We think you’ll get a lot of helpful tips too from such work-at-home powerhouses as Maria Bailey and Lesley Spencer Pyle. Do you have any tips for success for Christian entrepreneurs that you’d like to share? Jill Hart - I think my favorite tip - shared with me by one of our contributors, Tammy Degenhart, almost ten years ago is that working together benefits everyone. She told me, "Jill, what you give to others God brings back tenfold" and I've seen that hold true time and time again. It may not be in financial gains and it may not look like what we expected but God is so faithful in that when we work together there is no competition - it's a win-win situation. Diana Ennen - Do what you believe in and use your own skills and prior experience to find the business that’s just right for you. Research/Research/Research. The more you research, the better your business. Continue to market and be out there. So many once they find a few clients stop marketing. You need to get out there continually. You then become the go to person when someone needs services or products that you offer. What are some of the challenges that you see with those starting or operating a business? Jill Hart – In my experience, I've talked with many women who get frustrated because success doesn't come easily or quickly. Working from home may sound easy, but in reality it can actually be just as hard as working outside the home. There are many unique challenges, especially when working at home while raising children. If women don't prepare themselves, they can become discouraged and disheartened. Diana Ennen– One of the major challenges I see is losing belief in yourself that you can do it. That’s why I think a faith-based book will be so beneficial. Even when times get tough, you can rely on your faith to forge ahead. With the economy, do you believe it’s still a good time to start a business? Why? Jill Hart – I think it's a better time than ever. The internet is so much more widely used than it was even nine years ago when I began my website. If people do their research and find a company that fits them as well as their budget this can be a great time to break into the work-at-home field. Diana Ennen – Absolutely. In fact, I think there’s never been a better time. You might have to work a little harder, but it absolutely can be done. Plus, there are so many businesses who need us more than ever because of the economy. For example, with virtual assistants because businesses are downsizing they are seeking the help of a VA to help on an as needed basis. Your book is written from a Christian perspective? Tell us a little about that and how you feel that makes it so unique? Jill Hart – My faith is central to who I am and therefore central to my business. I began Christian Work at Home Moms because I wanted women to have a safe place where they could discuss not only business things, but also talk about an area that doesn't get talked about a lot in business circles - how our faith affects our businesses. The book is written in a way that doesn't hit anyone over the head with our faith, but it's true to who we are and talks about things from the vantage point that we see life - through the lens of our faith. Diana Ennen – There are so many books out there today on starting a business. However, few have the Christian mom in mind. We provide a lot of scriptures and examples of how you can use your faith to help you. Our hope is that not only will your business thrive, but it might just give a little boost to your faith as well. Learn more about the book at Beacon Hill Press or SoYouWantToBeAWAHM.com.